new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
