I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
