People with herpes should wear stickers.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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