Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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