I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
