just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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