No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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