Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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