what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
