I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
