It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
id be glad to
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
