i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
