I wannas sexs uuuuu
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
