If i come over, it means nothing
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
