Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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