I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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