I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize