i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
