She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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