I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
