Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
