I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
