i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
