You really coming over, don't trick.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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