i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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