But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
