I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
