Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
