Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
