Dual....:-)
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
