you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
