Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
