He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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