THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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