Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think people are normalizing furries
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
