I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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