Its about making memories worth repressing
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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