FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
