Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
