So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
