we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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