There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
