So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Randomize
