i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
