Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
