Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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