how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
false alarm. still invincible.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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