i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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