If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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