it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
this will be a night to untag.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
