i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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