if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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