At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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