That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
