An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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