Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
