I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
