Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
