i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
