I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize