she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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